job job job

I officially accepted the interventionist position. The only real drawback I can predict about it is that it's a bit of a drive from here, in the snow, uphill both ways. It's about 30 miles from my home, and I need to allow for at least 45 minutes to get there, especially in the snow and ice. And I have to call my husband each time I arrive at the school to let him know I got there OK (there are some notorious stretches of road along the way) and again when I'm on my way home. And I'll be doing it in the 20-something years old pickup truck with No Radio because he needs the Regular Car for in-town work and child chauffeuring. This will be difficult. I will have to Be Alone With My Thoughts for like two hours each day I go up there. Alone with my thoughts but unable to write down lists. Gonna have to fix the radio situation.

Anyway, I think it's going to be a good thing. If I thought teaching kindergarten on short notice was a challenge, how's intervention support for grades K-7 going to feel? I think it will be exciting. Reading is the main focus, but because of bureaucratic stuff it will be kept to less than half of my time there (probably hovering around 45%). For kids with tons of need in reading, I may be able to incorporate reading skills into some math work, as that will be around 45% of my time. Writing will likely round out the remaining 10%, and of course that's got some overlap with reading so it should be a system that can meet the kids' needs.

I want to start researching and preparing for this, but I'm not sure where to start. I don't know who the kids are, what they need, or what kind of work load I'm really looking at. I hope I can accomplish a  good deal of it within the alloted hours, as it doesn't appear I'll be paid for prep time. I'm already used to a lot of unpaid overtime, but when it's one's own (even temporary) classroom it's a little different. Then again, the director says I'll be free to craft my own program, and I'm sure I'll have a designated work area if not classroom, so I'll come up with a workable system. If I can just capture that commute time for productive lesson planning somehow, it could be great. I can't see myself talking into a little recorder, and obviously writing in a lesson plan book is out. Any ideas on how to work while driving and not end up in a ditch?

One must steel oneself to work in at Title I school

I was just reading this post from Elementary, My Dear...

She mentions hurting for her students who are so impoverished that a foam snowflake is enough to make their day, seeing as how they'd otherwise have no gift at all. I can relate. My students (and my daughters' classmates, as they attend the same school) are a struggling lot. Homes filled with extended families or multiple families. Parents without jobs. Parents in jail. Older siblings and cousins in gangs. Parents who've lost these kids to foster care. (Some parents who perhaps should lose the kids as they're not doing a heck of a lot of active or healthy parenting, but I digress). Homes without heat, where the baby's formula freezes solid when you set it down for a half hour. Immigrant families who don't speak much English and are hoping for something to improve for their children. Hard working, underpaid families surviving through the food bank and thrift stores and pawn shops and food stamps and unemployment (for as long as it lasts) and the free clothes closet at the school and Operation School Bell. Dustboard furniture and chipped plates and dollar store barbies and no time or energy for checking the kids' homework folders or reading a bedtime story.

And local legislators are planning to vote against tax adjustments on the wealthiest that would not improve the schools' budgets but would just maintain them at their current too-low levels. Disgusting.

OK, not exactly the end, but changey-changey

Today was the first day of our winter vacation. I about got "Merry Christmas"ed out by the end of Friday, but when in Rome...
     Anyway, I'm hoping to do very little work in the classroom over the break. I'll have two weeks worth of lesson plans to write (from home) for reading and writing. And number corner (for the Bridges Math calendar and numeracy work that happens in "my" part of the schedule). After the break I'll be doing mornings for the first 2 weeks, and Official Teacher will probably take over full time after that. I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm sorting this all out and hoping it will come out looking like gainful employment soon!
     So today I got a call from the charter school I interviewed with back in the summer. (shameless self promotion: I heard from an acquaintance that they'd had around 200 applicants for the two positions. Making it to the Final Four is pretty awesome. If 200 is accurate. But still.) So the director of the school called me to offer me a part time position with them as an academic interventionist. This is sort of a reading and math specialist, but slightly altered because I don't have a reading certification. And no one with the certification is likely to want to work 10 hours a week. At a little little town half an hour from my already fairly small town. So anyway, they found a way to revise the job description so it's kosher to have any licensed teacher doing it, and then they called me. Cool, as far as I can tell.
     My husband and I are discussing this and sleeping on it before I respond to the offer. Though some guaranteed hours each week would be good, and the work itself would be great, we're hoping it wouldn't get in the way of my ability to accept subbing jobs, since I'd absolutely need them to survive! I'm kind of thinking that it would be a doable scenario, though, because the director said they could adjust my schedule as needed so that I could take sub jobs, provided I had enough notice.
     The job does sound interesting. It would involve working with small groups,  no more than four kids at a time, and focusing on reading and math. There would likely be a bit of writing in there too. The school is K-7 (probably adding 8 next year or the year after), so I'd work with a wide age range. I think it sounds really challenging and interesting, and I would pretty much get to design the curriculum. I kind of think I'd like it as long as I can cobble together enough other gigs to keep the bills paid. I'm off to google response to intervention. Crossing Fingers!

The end is near

Well, the day I knew all along would come, has come. It looks like I get one more week with my little kindergarteners, then winter vacation, then two weeks of half days while we "transition" Official Teacher back into the classroom, and then I sub. I substitute my ass off. I substitute like it's my calling, like it's the greatest way to spend the second semester. I sub like I'm so grateful for the wide ranging learning opportunity that is not knowing when you'll work a day and when you'll stay home trying to not fight with your spouse because you're both really worried about money and why did this whole go into debt to get the degree so you can NOT get a job thing sound like a good idea anyway? I'll sub. OK. I'll sub like I don't miss the class. My class. Like I don't miss making lesson plans and going to staff meetings and hanging up the poster for the Letter of the Week. I'll sub like there's no tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll teach preschool. Head Start (a wonderful and valuable program if ever there was one) is hiring. If the pay is approaching OK, maybe I'll do that instead of sub. Which of course would mean stepping out of the school district a little and maybe not being quite as well set up for getting a contract if anything does open up. ARGH!

At least everyone was nice to me. A few teachers and paraprofessionals privately told me they thought I was doing well and should be there for the whole year. The principal was nice; he said I'd be #1 on the sub list, and so would be called first any time one is needed. That could pan out well, but there are no guarantees. We don't know when someone will be out. I can't figure out what to do. One more week of being their teacher. Better make it a good one, even if I seem to want to cry about four or five times a day.

Assessment time ... and holiday art?

Ten days to go, starting in about an hour, before winter break. Four days to administer assessments for progress reports. I sure hope a) I didn't forget anything critical from the 2nd quarter report card when I was writing up the assessment forms yesterday at my dining room table, and b) the little monkeys scholars can demonstrate more knowledge than last time they were formally assessed. I have a hunch they will; a bunch that started the year off in the "intensive" category from our DIBELS testing have shot right up to benchmark status in emergent reader skills, which is Very Promising. And of course there was Friday's awesomeness. General good learnin' all around. If only my little Bound to Repeat Kindergarten girl could wake up enough to understand that "cat" does not, in fact begin with /m/, nor do most of the other words I throw at her in our practice sessions. M was the very first letter of the week way back when, and it seems that it's never clicked for her that other sounds exist out there too. Breaking apart words into phonemic segments is weirdly challenging for kids this age, but Everyone Else in the Class has grasped it to some degree or another. Sigh. Upping her interventions so we can document all this in EBIS.

And if I can squeeze in two handprint calendar pages a day for the holiday craft/gift we're making, we will have it done in time to be all put together and sent home with the kids before the end of next week.  And we have the annual winter concert this week, with much disruption in the schedule. Oh, and I need to put up some sort of holiday crafty art thing in the hallway display area before Thursday. I'm thinking poinsettias made from red paper and maybe some glitter. Seasonal yet secular.

Woo Hoo! Monday here I come.

We are a Well Oiled Kindergarten Machine

So we start every morning in my kindergarten class with a routine of letter and number practice (with the kids all sitting on the rug, of course).

Disclaimer: Actually, we really begin the day by taking a trip through the cafeteria, grabbing take-out "food", trouping back to the extreme opposite side of the school (including climbing a staircase with food in hands-- no way to use handrails there!), setting down food, unpacking backpacks, stowing backpacks on backs of chairs, hanging up jackets (on hangers...ugh. Takes forever.), eating breakfast, wiping up spilled milk, opening those maddening little foil topped juice containers, pouring out unfinished drinks in the sink, stacking the paper "boats" all this glory came in, putting wrappers and unfinished food in the alotted trash bucket, setting the bucket in the hallway for easy pickup, and finally settling down on the rug for some learnin'. And I take attendance and occasionally wolf down a granola bar during this period.

Then the day begins for real. We have a calendar routine which is part of our math curriculum and which is pretty comprehensive. It includes, in addition to the expected purely calendar aspects, pattern recognition, counting and numeral recognition, some science, some art, and so on. Quite cool actually. Then we go into a fairly rote but useful alphabet and phonemic awareness routine. We focus on a different letter each week and review it and the rest of the letters, along with our growing word wall of high frequency words. After this we take a bathroom break and get ready for an hour of literacy center rotations.

Most of these exercises are designed for whole-group choral response. We've been doing this since the first week of school, with its current, revised and improved format since about a month in to the school year. Of course, I haven't always had full participation, or heard everyone in unison. But yesterday, the Kindergarten Goddes was smiling upon us. Everyone assembled at the appointed time, enthusiastically offered answers and predictions at the calendar, moved around the area (mostly) smoothly, and recited the admittedly rote material Perfectly and In Unison. Without me reciting along with them! I was so proud of the little monkeys scholars! And best of all, one of our building specialists (the speech & language pathologist) was there to observe it! I think we're getting somewhere with all this learnin' business.

Next up: progress reports. Then, start using the new digital projector. Which of course doesn't have its outlet wired yet, meaning I'll have to rig up an extension cord. But if I can get 28 kids to perform that well on their ABCs and so on, I can string a cord across the ceiling and down a wall of windows to get it plugged in. (We're back to 28. 3 days after Poor Little Ward of the State moved away, a new student arrived. He brings with him what appear to be good foundational skills, especially considering he doesn't speak English!)

Shiny new things for the classroom!

The good news: I'm getting a digital projector installed in my classroom tomorrow! (a Smart Board is "soon" to follow. read: sometime this school year).

The not as great (but ultimately insignificant news: we have to relocate to the computer lab for the day! I have to take a bunch of portable activities and squirmy kindergarteners out of our fortress of solitude and somehow teach them something in the process! 

I think we'll be taking periodic walks outside to burn off energy that can't be sustained around that expensive equipment.

Maybe with enough crayons (and the aforementioned exercise breaks) we'll have a good day. Hope so! 

Now I'm starting to think about things I can do with the new gear. Air PBS (or similar) video clips of phonics-related material? Make a class video (something with counting maybe?) My husband suggests collaborating with older classes to have them make Power Point presentations about the alphabet, or other appropriate stuff, for my class. It could then be easily shared with other classes, and the tech-centric teachers in the upper elementary grades could have good assignments for their kids in the process. So cool!

Losing Sleep

My little guy who's been moved around with one of his siblings was moved again yesterday. They called the classroom from the office telling me to send him down there after school. Later I found out that he and a sister were picked up there by DHS workers and taken to a new foster home outside of town. This time he won't stay at our school. I kept waking up last night thinking about him and his siblings; two of them are still with foster parent #1, while he and the one other sister have moved to #s 2 and now #3 just since the school year started. I don't know why they couldn't stay at #2, or why the siblings have been separated. We were holding steady for a while there, since they still all attended our school and could see each other a bit. I had all his sisters dropping into my classroom during the day, when their classes were at recess or just when their teachers OK'ed it. They'd sit with my little guy and work on his projects with him. He just glowed whenever they got together. Now I don't know what will happen to these kids. If I'd known they were sending him away, I'd have at least given him a hug on the way out. They must be so scared, and angry and lonely. It just makes me want to cry. In my delerium at 3 am I pondered the possibility of becoming a foster parent so I could just magically step in and make everything better for these kids. But now's not the time for that, and of course I  couldn't be his teacher and mom. I guess what it boils down to is that all I can do at this point is care, and that does very little.

In other news: Pumpkin Pie!

I got talked into joining some other kindergarten and first grade classes for a Thanksgiving feast on Tuesday. We're making, among other things, a no-crust, no bake pumpkin pie. I found this recipe and we'll mash it all together in a big ziploc bag and serve it like custard in little cups. Yummy, tactile, traditional. And fattening. I love it!

Sharing Is Hard, and other news from the Kindergarten Front

The weird experience of having the Official Teacher "volunteering" all week kind of threw me off. Generally, we get along well, and when I'm looking at it as a sort of team teaching venture it's actually pretty great. The class is large (though at 28 it's not the biggest kindergarten in either the school or district), so extra hands are always welcome. And of course she knows (mostly) what she's doing, so the kids will absolutely benefit. She got the "bucket of frogs" that is one of our math centers to actually straighten up and ribbit right! As a student teacher, I was shown all sorts of techniques that my cooperating teachers used, with great explanations of their purposes. Working with Official Teacher could be more beneficial in a way, because I've been trying a lot of things and will understand better what a new system can offer. She thanked me on Friday for sharing the room and letting her come in. I just answered that, hey, it's a weird situation and we might as well approach it as a team. If all goes well and she does return to work this year, I may be able to stay on in a team teaching position.

Everyone talks about how it would be hard for the students to get used to a new teacher. They are, after all, only 5 and 6 years old and I've been their teacher all along. I think the truth is that since Official Teacher is coming in a bit at a time, they'd do fine with her later. They'd get used to it. I'm not saying I'm OK with that. I'd miss the kids and the work a lot. And I frankly need the paycheck. So I don't really want her to come back. But it's out of my hands and if it's going to happen but as a team teaching or job sharing situation, well I think that would be just dandy. Then maybe something will open up for next year. Someone could retire, or relocate for a spouse's job, or whatever. I know a first grade teacher in our building has a husband who's getting a high-tech bachelor's degree in June and would certainly have to relocate to find work in his field. I'd be happy to move into her classroom! The bottom line is that the rosy picture that was painted of the profession when I started out working on my degree and teaching license is no longer accurate. No one's retiring. There are no open positions. When a position does open up, it's usually as a one year temporary job instead of a contract position.

In other news, I'm wrestling with assessment. Kindergarten doesn't have much in the way of papers to grade, and a lot of the assessing is through observation. The district now wants us to administer big math assessments in January for the next report card. The official assessment is eleven pages long. With our average class size of about 29 or 30 kids, that's HUGE! I like the idea of collecting good data on the kids, but I have no idea how to pull that off. These aren't third graders or older who can actually work on something while one kid at a time is pulled aside by the teacher for a little test.

Of course, if we're team teaching it'll be cake. ...always look on the bright side of life...

Job security stress

I'm having such mixed emotions. I met with the principal and the teacher I'm subbing for Friday afternoon to talk about her coming in as a volunteer a few (as in, 4!) days a week so she can start flexing her muscles a bit in preparation for returning to the classroom. The accident left her with brain damage that is mainly showing itself as memory problems. Lots of them.

The negative feelings: I feel threatened. My space and my authority with the students will be undermined or even usurped. She might get all the way better and I may then lose the job altogether. I'll have someone looking over my shoulder, which doesn't always lend itself to my best performances. It'll be like being a student teacher again.

On the other hand, she'd a great woman with tons of experience She taught one of my daughters a few years ago. She wrote my letter of reference when I was applying to graduate school. It's so weird and not right to see her as an adversary. We will probably work well together and the kids will probably benefit. She's got a nice sounding Thanksgiving project in mind, which I'm more than happy to let her lead since, as I've mentioned here, I have no interest in diving into what I see as a can of worms in teaching that particular history. The curriculum for kindergarten is so simplified, though, that it ultimately doesn't much matter. She tends to have a generally multicultural approach to most everything in the classroom, so it'll be fine. I'd still like to do the gratitude tree though.

I suppose this volunteer thing will go one of two ways. Either she'll prove to be significantly on the mend and ready to return soon or it'll show her what is still too difficult. We briefly discussed the idea of a job share down the line if she is ready to return during this year, since the kids of course see me as their teacher and the work load might be manageable for her if it were shared. My bottom line would likely be affected by that, but it would sure be better than unemployment, or than regular subbing with the constant question of "will I get called?", not to mention the chaos of subbing all over all the time, with little consistency. God I want a contract! I can't help but think that the uncertainty of this situation will serve me well in the long run. Someone's got to retire eventually, and I should be able to step in when that happens. It's just so hard to stay upbeat some days, feeling like it could end anytime, and then what? I've got some serious bills to pay!

This is not a typical first year teaching experience. But it's not a typical economy either.

Sometimes hugs aren't enough

A few days ago I was monkeying around with this blog and I added the phrase "Phonics, counting, singing, and hugs in a Title I school" to the sidebar. I had hugs on the list because little people are all the time running up with waist-height hugs. It's sweet, and it's a perk of teaching primary grades. Yesterday I really had to put my hugging skills to the test, though. My little guy who was just moved to a second foster home broke down at the end of the day. It's been a couple of weeks since the move, and he's mostly been just a slightly bouncier version of his normal 5 year old self, but as we were preparing to leave school for the day I noticed him sitting with his chin on his desk, all red in the face. I sort of told the class to talk amongst themselves (they're quite good at that) and called him over. Before I knew it, he was curled up in my lap, sobbing that he missed his sisters (one was moved with him, two stayed behind). All I could do was hold him and whisper to him that it will be OK, that lots of people are on his side and making sure he's taken good care of, and so on. I hugged him like I hug my own daughters when they're sad: a real, solid, I'm not letting go kind of hug. Granted, my kids get upset about things like a skinned knee or a squabble over a toy or frustration over learning subtraction. This little guy has the world on his itty bitty shoulders. The irony is, all his sisters are in our school. It's just hard to pull them out of class to get them together. I'll track down their teachers today and see if we can do something. In the meantime, I'm a good hugger. And I've gotten good (thanks in large part to my husband's influence) at being consistent and reasonably strict with rules. I hope that can help the little guy, as well as the many many others in my class who are in stressful situations. We're a Title I school, and with high poverty tends to come a high level of stress for a lot of people. Sometimes it's heartbreaking, but I'm grateful for the chance to be a spark of positivity (and source of necessary skills and knowledge!) for so many kids.

In other news, I think for Thanksgiving I'll just do a kindergarten version of a Gratitude Tree that my mentor teacher did last year with 6th graders. I'll make some sort of tree image to go on the wall and the kids will give me quotes about things they're grateful for that I'll put on leaves. There. That's done!

What to do about Thanksgiving?

On the one hand, the holiday generally delights me. It's secular. It's focused on those most important 3 F's: family, friends, and food (my three favorite things, really). We're supposed to be with our loved ones and think about gratitude. Nothing wrong so far. Oh, and we get a little time off. Always nice.

On the other hand, the prospect of teaching about Thanksgiving and its history worries me. I'm not one to buy into the whole Earnest Pilgrims and Helpful Indians thing. Not without mentioning the smallpox or the complex and pervasive societies that predated said pilgrims. Not without mentioning Europeans' treachery and general ignorance. Not without some sort of caveats.

And these are kindergarten students, so most of that would be frankly inappropriate and difficult to understand.

And the district apparently has an official Teach Thanksgiving policy, though how specific this policy may be I don't yet know.

And a significant portion of my students are Native Americans. And I'm not. And this is a politically conservative community. And I'm not. AAAAArrrrggh.

We made hand print turkeys, though. Can we call it good?

In which a first-year teacher survives her first Parent Teacher Conferences!

Well, we did it. After two 12 to 13 hour days, parent-teacher conferences are done. OK, technically I had a few no-shows, so I should be wrapping it up after school next week, but still, Whew! I learned a few things. Don't forget to let the office know when your own daughters' conferences are, so rescheduled appointments don't get piled up at all the wrong times. Block out a dinner break. And just plain go more quickly. I went a long way past the allotted times, partly due to folks arriving late in the middle of the day, which snowballed into everything running late after that, and partly due to me wanting to explain every last item on the report cards to the parents. Granted, my speech got quicker and more precise as I went along, and I got good at writing key benchmark goals upside down as we sat across the table from each other, but still... shorter and sweeter would have been good.
More pertinent to the children's actual education: in an effort to include positive feedback for every child I may have ended up sugar coating the news in some cases. I had our building's instructional coach sitting in with me for a couple of conferences, and when the parents left she seemed amazed at how they didn't register that so many "needs improvement" marks really means their child isn't up to par.
Good news: after going through each report card in detail (after, of course, having created each one less than a week ago) I have a good idea of where the class stands, what skills are commonly lacking, and what I need to emphasize. In addition to the daily routines that are already in place for phonemic awareness and letter recognition, I'm going to have to set up small groups to work with a paraprofessional regularly to drill on letters and numbers. And colors and shapes in some cases. Sheesh. If the kids with the lowest skills would just participate, I think we'd see some growth.
More brainstorming will ensue. In the meantime, I have a three day weekend and I intend to only spend it with my family! There's storytime at the library to take the three year old to, some area rugs to haul upstairs in the interest of warming up the cold cold loft, maybe some real cooking to do... Sounds pretty good!

Boooooo!

A festive good time was had by all! Note that 3-year old zombies tend to be messy when eating brains: she's got it all over her face!

watch it here... if you dare
got some candy too!

Report Cards

I'm preparing report cards. The news overall is not good. These children on average don't know what a letter or number is, let alone which ones you're pointing to or what sounds they make, etc. I had little ones saying everything but a number when identifying numerals 1-15. I have some kids who recognize not a single letter or its sound. This is after ten weeks of daily, and often twice daily or more, drilling. We chant the ABC song. We recite it again with phonics added and an "alphafriend" to help remember. We practice phoneme segmentation with picture cards. We make silly sounding "starts with" noises all day long. I am seeing growth, but a lot of kids are still getting a "needs improvement" on their first report cards. And I mean everything pretty much needs improvement. We've got our work cut out for us. And speaking of "cut out", right when these kids need it the most, a quarter of our sparse paraprofessional hour is cut in favor of the special ed room. I said I was fine with that, since the school is under some AYP scrutiny and SPED is especially hurting. It's in the school's best interest for those kids to get that support. But it's certainly not in my students' best interest! I have no idea how to proceed with one of our four reading rotations sans adult. The kids can't do it independently! I don't want to raise a stink, but I'm going to have to ask the administration for help.

On the other hand, my kindergarteners rocked starfall.com yesterday! I spent their entire morning recess booting up and logging on to all the machines in the computer lab. They were all over it, finding apps I hadn't ever noticed, helping each other, totally loving it! We have an open sign-up policy for the computer lab, and I noticed that the whole month is me and the 5th and 6th grade teachers. My little buggers are going to be rocking it by June.

Which is looking more and more will be my class in June. After all, I am a substitute teacher who's preparing report cards. Next week is parent-teacher conferences. I really want to stay put here. Beside the fact that I need the work, it would be awfully hard on the kids to suddenly have a new teacher. Especially the ones with abandonment, attachment, or change issues. Which is a lot of them. Foster care is rampant in my class, and a consistent adult at school shouldn't be too much to ask. Out of my hands though.

Dare I Say It?

I think the kiddos are getting the hang of this whole school thing. Today went wonderfully. Granted, it followed on the heels of a Terrible Tuesday in which a Bus Evacuation Drill, chock full of Important and Useful information that the five year olds neither could nor should understand, took up the best part of my reading time and threw me and the schedule off for most of the day. I mean, really, do we want the kinders operating the special yellow emergency brake button? Should they use the CB to call anyone, and if so would they remember to a) say specifically "bus 86 to base" and b) take the finger off the button when they're not talking so they can hear this mysterious "base", whatever that is? No. The answer we're looking for is no they should not. No problem, though, because they didn't understand anything other than that I wouldn't let them sit anywhere they wanted and it Had To Be Three To A Seat.

Digress much? Now that I've got that out of my system, on to the Good Day that was today. No, when I teach writing conventions we won't put Random Capitals throughout an otherwise charming bit of writing.

Today the kids came in in the morning, put their homework folders in the correct color-coded boxes (no one forgot and left it in a backpack!) went to their tables, and immediately began writing in their journals. Which I'd cleverly set out with pencils before they came in. This without me reminding them what to do next, or describing what quiet writing looks like! I was such a proud mama duck!

I've taken to thinking of myself a bit as a mama duck because the little ducklings have imprinted on me as Teacher (which, at the kindergarten level includes a little bit of Mama too). (Just a little though. I have daughters of my own thank you very much.)

The day continued thusly, with a general theme of cooperation and good will. My squirreliest little trouble maker even made, and kept, a promise to be good all day. He was rewarded with a coveted Red Ticket, even though I maintain that learning is its own reward, we don't always get goodies for just taking care of our responsibilities, natural consequences, blah blah etc. Red tickets work though, and in truth he didn't even kick anyone all day, let along give me his sulky "you've wounded me by insisting that I sit on the rug right now for a story" stance. Not loving that stance, by the way, but deciding to catch more flies with sugar or whatever. Poor guy probably gets shamed enough at home, so maybe if I accentuate the positive, what there is of it, we'll see more good behavior. At least the fella can excel academically if he wants, unlike most of his peers at this point!

On the cuteness scale, though, they all excel.

Kindergarten Rocks!

On paper, it's still not my own classroom. But I'm the only adult who's been there since before day 1 and to the kids I'm certainly the teacher. I'm beginning to approach it as if I'll be there all year, knowing full well this might not be the case. I have a big pile of a reading unit to prepare for Monday and the ongoing busy festivity that is Math, and I'm loving it! Sure, most of my students eat the occasional booger, and most can't tell the difference between the letter A and, well, anything. But they're getting better already! One little guy started off the year writing his name in "cursive". This strongly resembled a looooong line of zigzags to me, but what do I know. Now it's 3 or 4 squiggly but recognizable letters (the correct ones, even!) followed by some zigzags for good measure. The one who only cried for about the first five days now is all hunky-dory and making friends. Next step: paying attention in class! The mute one who wants to hide his little face when I ask him to say the abc's or count for me... still does that, but at least he says goodbye to me at the end of the day now!

I'm becoming organized. I know where (most) things are in the room. One little kiss-up politely raised his hand at the end of the day on Friday (the most tired and ornery time of the week typically) and announced that I'm the best teacher ever. Best. Ever. Granted, I'm the only teacher the little guy has had so far, but I'm willing to trust his judgement. Just like when my sweet 3 year old tells me I'm a beautiful mommy, well, it just must be true! I guess in her alternate reality dark circles under the eyes, weird hair, and a well padded tummy DO equal beautiful.

Honestly I don't believe these little guys when they say such hooey, but I am sure they mean it, which means I'm in the right profession (slash lifestyle if you count my own offspring in that). I still wonder from time to time how it would be with the older kids, wonder if I might one day land a position with big ones who can sort of sit still and, if they're texting in class, at least it means they can read and pretty much write! For now, though, I have in fact tapped into my inner Kindergarten Goddess, and she takes the kids for a walk outside to sit under a tree next to the school and sing alphabet songs. And she rocks.

Probably not the swine flu, but...

Boy was it a nasty 32 hours. Four of the five of us got it (mercifully the three year old was spared, so far!) but I really think I had it the worst. At the risk of treading into the Too Much Information zone, I was up two or three times an hour from 1am to about 7. Then it was about another 24 hours of not really being able to comfortably get out of bed. Ugh. No fever, though, and no other symptoms aside from the intestinal ones! So whatever it was didn't require a report to the health department. I had to call in sick, which meant I got to figure out how to get a substitute while panicking that a) it wouldn't be arranged in time and that b) I didn't really have any good lesson plans in place for the sub. I'm spending the rest of the weekend doing house chores and outlining next week's lessons!

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Kindergarten

Starting a new school year with about two working days' advance notice and another two or three days of prep time is A Challenge. Doing it in kindergarten, where the clientele is squirmier, wigglier, and generally needier than is typical in other grades is a Super Learning Experience! Doing all this while still unpacking and living out of boxes from the Big Move is a bit much, but I digress.

Now, however, I've begun to hit my stride. I don't exactly have a year's worth (or even a semester) of lesson plans or anything, but I know my students, I can remember the daily routine, and we're getting familiar with the great mystery that is How School Works. We line up. We sit on the rug. We raise our hands, occasionally, when we have something to say. We even give passing recognition to Directions. Not bad for ten days of experience under our little belts. I've begun elaborating on the basic Reading and Math curricula and can start introducing some science and art. We did little handprint paintings that became a flower garden. I remembered to sing with them, and they liked it. I'm going to do a seed unit soon (something I spotted in a recent NSTA article). We're getting it!

Friday was so sweet (especially as it came on the heels of a decidedly sour Thursday). I was introducing the class to the idea of writing stories. They would be given a paper with space for a picture on top and three or so lines for their literary masterpieces below. I started with the overhead projector and modeled thinking through ideas, writing them down, and making a picture. Turns out probably none of the kids had seen an overhead projector before, and they were so blown away by watching me draw in one place and having it projected on the screen that they not only stopped goofing around, they actually burst into applause. I kid you not. They clapped for me. Granted, my picture of a princess and her new friend the monster was pretty awesome, but still... That plus the one little guy telling me my hair looked "cute" totally made up for Thursday. Which was draining and worrisome.

Long story short, I think I like kindergarten!

no news is good news

...and by that I don't mean that there's no good news! Just that the lack of posts here is because I've been working. A lot, actually. I just finished week two of a long term substitute job which is likely to last through the fall and could go longer than that. I'm starting the year for a kindergarten teacher who dropped her motorcycle in July and can't work yet. Though of course this is bad news for her, it's great for me. I'm learning a lot, working in an almost-mine classroom, and not stressing about the paycheck for now! Plus, it's at my kids' school, so I get to walk to work with the girls in the morning and see them a lot more during the day than I would otherwise.

Kindergarten is a wild experience. The kids came in in groups of six or so Monday through Thursday last week, and Friday was the first For Real day of school for them. It's amazing: I'm already able to assess a lot of their abilities and even personalities. Some are shy and just haven't warmed up yet, but others are already wild and crazy. Quite a few can't write a single letter, or write completely backwards. One obviously bright girl has serious stamina and perseverance issues. As in, she has none. Her inability to stay interested and on-task longer than it takes to write her Aa once or twice screams "TV watcher". Then there's the over-sharing, both from kids and parents. I've already heard all about a mother who was in jail, a father who's never around, a pit bull, unexpected pregnancy (that mom is 23 and already has four kids, with #5 on the way). The non-English speakers, the criers, the mommy-missers, the hypoglycemics and breakfast-skippers. I came home tired on Friday. Next week we're focusing on writing our names and identifying colors in English and espanol. Fortunately, the classroom came equipped with a number of books in Spanish, so I've been able to read a few to certain kids. This helps them feel more comfortable.

All in all, I'm loving the job. Since actual open teaching positions were few and far between this year, subbing is great and this gig is great great great. I love the school and I feel like I'm actually contributing to my community by being there.

Mission Accomplished: summer birthdays all done!

Big news from the home front: all our birthdays for the year have been successfully accomplished! The eldest turned 11 this week, and our as-yet-unfinished upstairs made a fabulous roller rink for her party. The area will soon be our actual home, but for now it's one big big big room with no furniture and a nice smooth floor. Great fun was had by all.
In other news, I've got no news to report. Still job hunting, still looking at substitute teaching, still haven't heard from the charter school. Hoping I can stand the suspense until it all gets settled within the next few days.
Fingers crossed. At least they say I come highly recommended (they being people who've checked my references)! If it were a normal year I'd have a job or two by now. It's not normal, so I'm just grateful for the affirmations.
fingers crossed

No news...

I'm waiting (patiently, I swear) to hear back from Cool Charter School about how my second interview went.
Good news: out of 45 initial interviewees, 4 were called for second interviews and one of those had already taken another job or some such. So it was me and two others applying for not one but two openings. Good odds.
Bad news: It's been like two whole business days (4 days if you count the weekend) and I haven't heard anything. I still could be the one who didn't get the job. Ugh.
Sure, it's very validating, especially in a tough year like this, to get this far in the first place. I try to play it cool. I tell myself that substitute teaching for four different local districts could be just dandy for the next year or two. The truth is that yes, it would be fine, but I really hope I get the job. I like the mission of the school, I like that it's still a public school serving a high needs community, and I like that since it's a charter there is a lot of customization in the curricula and small class sizes.
So at this point I know that I'll be doing either the subbing or the charter school, and that's fine. I'm just hoping hoping hoping I get my own classroom and don't have to worry about the uncertainty of not working full time. Whatever the outcome, just knowing one way or the other will be good.

nice things

Nothing's guaranteed, but I just got an email inviting me to a second interview for this groovy-sounding school not far from here. Next week: teach awesome science camp. Week after: dazzle the hiring committee. A week or two later: start work???

This is me trying to be "upbeat and optimistic" without crossing over into "getting my hopes up".

A little bitty good start

Next week I'll be teaching a fabulous science summer camp for elementary kids (and one of my own very favorite daughters will be attending). Today I got to go in and set up "my" classroom. This was no big deal, but the feeling of Control was sweet. I'll be one of four or so teachers, with three classes of kids rotating through our rooms each day. The camp has a full curriculum with pretty much all the supplies provided, so it's a great opportunity for running the show without having to invent the show. In my room the kids will be working in teams to construct "land sleds", along with other activities, leading up to a grand prix on Friday involving an obstacle course outside and water balloons. In fact, water balloons figure prominently throughout the week. Games involving throwing them and getting points for being driest will allow kids to buy gear for their sleds with the points. Note to self: don't wear white blouses next week. I'm sure to get hit at least once.

Meanwhile, Operation Move the Family of Five continues unabated. Right now I'm looking at my living room overflowing with those 5 gallon plastic storage tubs. There are around twenty of them filled with books, kids' stuff, and baking dishes. Oh, and my "office". I managed to go through an entire graduate degree program using the dining room table as my work space next to a weird bookshelf I built full full full of textbooks and binders. The dining room is smack in the traffic pattern for the house. It was not ideal. Literally the day after my last class, we started moving. Once the dust settles and we're all moved in I'll have my very own office and art studio suite. With doors. And no homework to do. Let's hope I get work and need to do lesson plans in there!

On a side note, I figured out how to review comments. Wow am I a modern gal. This had never come up before, but now I see that someone actually reads this and I'm not completely talking to myself. Which I've been fine with. I must say, it does add a little something to the blogging experience, knowing someone's reading. Thanks!

In keeping with the ongoing spirit of forced optimism I've been enforcing around here (here being my own head, of course) I'm proud to say that I did not shy away from finding out what the bleep was up with my recent student loan statement. A got this little paper in the mail, and though I've largely ignored them all year because nothing comes due until 6 months after graduation, I figured what with the graduating and all I should open this one. And it says I owe about $28,000 more than I was expecting. Oh, the emotional roller coaster. Oh, the wtf, the lost sleep, the "how do I break this to husband?". I added up the tuition estimates on my school's website, verified that my math wasn't crazy, and working against type I actually called the Direct Loan folks (that's federal student aid, for those lucky enough to not have incurred such debt). Turns out this was the one statement I should have ignored: sort of a typo-snafu resulted in bad info. It's all cool. And I love this administration. Thanks to the brand spankin new Income Contingent Repayment plan, I could be enjoying low low monthly payments of like $15 or $20 for ten years. Then, I believe, the remainder is likely to be wiped clean. Anyone out there, especially K-12 teachers, with federal Direct Loans: look into this. It made me go from freaking out to cool as a cucumber. OK, I'm a kind of hot, tired, and unemployed cucumber, but still. Finally some good news. I'll take what I can get from the stingy Good News Department.

summer at last

Classes ended on Thursday. I stayed up late and got up early so I could be done for real when the final class came; some papers could be turned in over the weekend, but I walked out of there for the last time and went to a family celebration with nothing left on my plate. My mom cooked some of my favorite comfort foods, my girls were ecstatic, and I ended up sleeping for twelve hours! It was heavenly. The next day, we started our move. We're moving about eight blocks down the street, into an amazing commercial building we just finally bought a week ago and are semi-renovating into a loft for the family upstairs and art studios, office, and workshop space on the main level. The thing's huge, I tell you. The girls were roller skating around the embarrassingly big living space while Dave and I cleaned up lots of dust and debris to get ready to move in. Until the county planning department signs off on it, we won't be officially living there, but we're getting ready as much as possible, and we took as much as we could down there today. So so so tired, but in a good way. Now I'm preparing to teach a week of science camp for elementary kids, back at the same school where I did my student teaching. And there was a promising interview earlier in the week for a teaching position at a really exciting school, so I'm hoping and waiting. So far so good for July!

Viva Arts Education!

Did I mention how proud I am of all the drama queens (and one very stoic drama king) in my family? Check out these amazing highlights of the spring musical theater extravaganza on our very own Mills Elementary's homepage. Anyone who knows me in real life may recognize the grandfather (narrator), granddaughter (sitting with narrator when not up and dancing), and pink mama monster.

Happy Birthday Katherine!

Attitude Adjustment: Day 2
Project Glass Half Full is on track. Aided by an adorable daughter's third birthday, a kite, a swimming pool, and cake, everything is GREAT.

New plan: attitude adjustment

Today begins Operation Looking On the Bright Side. It's a survival thing. I hope it works. My glass is half full, by golly.

Bitterness probably won't help me survive this recession

Good news: got a call for a job interview.

Bad news: it's in a town about 4 hours away from here and we've decided that come heck or high water we're staying put. (In this context that sounds foolish, but it makes a lot of sense for our whole family's long term, big-picture plans.)
Good news: had an actual interview for an actual job not too very far away from home.
Bad news: didn't get the job. found out when I ran into the girl who did get it (a perfectly nice person if not as deserving as I- I who have five people to support versus she who has a dog. And then I found out that the job pays over twice what I need to support my family. Twice. Grrrr. But my bitterness causes digression...)
Good news: there's still some hope for two local jobs I applied for recently, but both are in limbo until the middle of August; depending on enrollment figures, the jobs may or may not exist. Does that even count as good news? I'm thinking not so much.
And in the same vein (the "does it count as good, bad, or indifferent?" vein): I applied for a part time, minimum wage job yesterday. Again, won't know anything until probably August, but that's fine as I'm booked through July anyway. The job involves books and nice people, so it's good. It may have a flexible schedule that can fit around substitute teaching and, maybe, part time adjunct-ing (one of the aforementioned local jobs). That's good too. And it's not actually minimum wage: it's a whopping $0.73 above minimum. Yep. That's what a master's degree gets you in 2009. Gets me, anyway. Apparently if you're 23 and you're from these parts and you say "like" a lot you're golden. Not so much for me: the chunky matron, heading in to middle age and trying to start over like I'm brand new or something. I'm not brand new. And I'm not from around here, and this is a small town, with a handful of outlying smaller towns where people know each other and they don't really know me.
This week has been incredibly depressing and demoralizing. Six months ago I was confident that I'd make a great teacher and some school district would be happy to get me. Happy. Now it's looking like going back to school was the biggest and most expensive mistake of my long list of regrettable mistakes in this glorious life. So in between trying not to cry all day I'm angry and just plain bitter. Just what HR people want in an applicant. Grrr.

teaching my favorite students

With the oldest daughter away this week at SOU's Academy camp for fabulous above average talented and amazing kids (I'm so proud of her!), it's just the little big kids here at home. And with grad classes only two days this week (plus an interview on Wednesday! Crossing fingers!) I have a lot of time to spend with my 8 and almost-3 year old girls.
My 8 year old is a willing guinea pig and experimental mathematician, so we've been playing with multiplication and trying out some new (to me) ways of finding these types of math facts other than rote memorization and the old fashioned standard algorithm. She eyes me skeptically when we try the array model I learned recently, but she's game and lo and behold the answers are correct! I think she'll do well in third grade next year.
Littlest kid is mostly running around sans pants and working on remembering about that special potty chair in the bathroom. I'm trying to introduce some more alphabet games, but the formal education stuff is mostly mom reading to kid. That's the most fun anyway, and it's like finding out that your most favorite comfort food is nutritious and slimming. We'd rather just read a good stack of library books anyway. To her credit, Littlest has been exhibiting some good self analysis. When questioned on her reasons for a half hearted bite she gave her poor sister, she allowed that she'd been bothering 8 year old and should go play by herself. After a mandated apology, she happily bounced off to her play kitchen, and peace again reigned in the living room.
My sweet husband's out filling a box full of helium balloons to send to Eldest Daughter at camp. What better way to be reminded that your quirky family misses you than to open a box and have a swarm of balloons randomly fill your dorm room?

Happy Faces!

Me, my mom, and my older kids on graduation day at Southern Oregon University. Everyone got a chance to try on the cap!

happy graduation to us...

Yesterday I participated in the commencement ceremony marking the completion of my master's degree. (OK, my cohort and I are not quite there yet, but we're mere weeks from complete and got to walk anyway.) I have always valued higher education and am proud of this accomplishment; I'm even proud in advance of the good work this degree will allow me to do.
But.
There are no jobs. There is no money to go around. I am not qualified to be an RN or a long haul truck driver, and these are really about all my local paper is advertising for. Somehow my worries have been overshadowing my pride in a job well done. A Wall Street Journal article is highlighting the way the baby boomers have, well, basically ruined the country and maybe to an extent the planet for us, their children. Leaving school doesn't look so good when unemployment is this high. For about eleven months now, I've been second guessing myself, and it's only gotten worse as the year dragged on. Was taking out these student loans a good idea, when I could (presumably) gotten a job a year ago and been making money all this time instead of accruing debt and angst? Boomer commencement speakers this year are on record apologizing to this year's graduates for the world we're inheriting. As Judy Berman puts it, "too little, too late". Sure, there are individual examples here and there of baby boomers who I value and like (mostly my parents and one or two professors). As a whole, though, they've really done a number on us.
I'll be lucky to be working part time pumping gas after summer classes are done. I'm not exaggerating either. (Pumping gas is an actual job here in Oregon, btw). The glow of graduation day is definitely gone already.

Bad economy, good time to be creative

I'm at loose ends. With no long term writing projects hanging over my head, this week off is actually a week off! My older children finished up their school year on Tuesday, and I spent the whole day doing family-errands. I visited the high school to pay my oldest daughter's band teacher for the flute that looks like it won't be abandoned. Then I took the almost-3 year old to get on a preschool waiting list (good news: they're not worried about potty training status; bad news: it may be a year before she gets in). Then it was on to big kids' elementary school, where I procured a loaner violin for 8 year old to play over the summer, watched 10 year old receive many many awards for being an all around good kid and serious scholar, and make friendly, sort of "hire me someday" chitchat with as many folks at the school as possible for one last time. Then, toddler and I hustled home as fast as possible, as we were running all these errands on the bike and a rain storm was threatening. Rain. In the high desert. In June. Wow- this global warming is treating my area all right so far. More biking and less driving is in order anyway.

The strange thing right now is, I suppose, economically driven. Because we're in the toilet as far as the state budget goes, there are literally No Teaching Jobs. None. Like teachers are being laid off. So I'm forced to get creative with the whole job/career thing. It's looking like I'll be substitute teaching for our two local school districts next year. This is fine with me; I've gotten used to the idea of not getting a full fledged job and there are advantages to subbing. The pay won't be good, though, because there is a large pool of subs and I'm a newbie. So I'll need another job that starts around 4pm, so on days when I do get a subbing call I'll be able to accept it and still make it to the other job. This could make for a weird and even hectic school year, but we gotta do what we gotta do. This is where things get interesting, in my current mood of cautious optimism. What will I do for work in the after-school hours? I know there aren't a million jobs to choose from that will fit the bill, but maybe something good will surface... I've actually sent out two resumes today, and the one I'm hoping works out would be in that after 4 bracket (most likely) and would involve education and my undergraduate area of expertise and is right here in town and would be fun. While paying the bills. And not interfering with that keeping-my-toe-in-it substitute work. Fingers crossed. Please please please. If this works out and I'm hired, and subbing, and our big exciting new real estate pursuit pans out, well then I think 2009 will be a Good Year. Actually making a living at this stuff would be a dream come true.

writing conventions are important!

They may be small, but apostrophes, semicolons, and especially commas really do matter. So there.

This school year is coming to a close. Next week we're only in session three days, the following week four days, and that's all she wrote. Though I have a few weeks of course work to follow that before I get my pretty letters to stick after my name, it's safe to say the end is in sight. So, in the interest of adhering to the central theme of this Master of Arts in Teaching program (reflection, reflection, reflection), I thought I'd ponder the enduring understandings about the profession of teaching that I've gleaned this year.

Inside the classroom, my biggest focus is on classroom management, with general organization being a close second. I've found that when I'm on a roll with the kids and they're responding well to my instructions, amazingly we get a lot more learning in! When I came to the first grade right after spring break, on the heels of almost six months with sixth graders, it took me a while to get into the rhythm. Obviously, with such a large age gap, a lot of management techniques have to be different. Some things are the same, whether the students are first graders (or, I'm sure, preschoolers) or graduate students. We like to chat with our friends. What we're talking about and how we carry ourselves while doing it may look different at different ages, but a good teacher/ professor/ workshop leader acknowledges this and works with it instead of against it, using age- and setting-appropriate ways to pull every one's attention back to the task at hand.

In the beginning of the term I spent a lot of time (which felt like wasted time, though it had its educational merit for me and for the kids) just getting it quiet enough that I could move on to the next part of the lesson. Some days it was excruciating. Even while teaching my work sample, which overlapped with my full time takeover of the classroom for the student teaching requirements, I never had a whole day of attentiveness. I'm not expecting perfect silence, or everyone sitting in rows with hands folded and backs straight. It would be weird if six year olds never squirmed or giggled or picked their noses when the teacher's talking. Of course they will get off task. But I know that when I have developed enough gravitas and authority it will go more smoothly.

After a week of ups and downs, Friday was an especially up day. Previous days had included some especially squirelly behavior. This included a lot of running and sliding in the classroom, nasty words exchanged, tattling, and general jokey noisiness during instruction. There were some moments of successful first grade work, but I was so tired after each day.

Then we got to Friday. Sullen Malevolent Boy and Hyper Hateful boy were both absent. That left only Manic Rude Girl to stir the pot. The day was like a dream. They were still wiggly and excited because it was the Friday before a four day weekend, followed by only a few days remaining in the school year. We had practice for the class play. We made costumes. We watched the movie Babe to wrap up our big unit (actually from the amazing math curriculum!) on farms. We had a bike parade to wrap up our school's two-week Bike to School extravaganza. We even got to have our long awaited cups of ice cream to celebrate some good behavior points earned long long ago (which I noticed even the Jehovah's Witnesses accepted!). My mentor had to do one more formal observation of my teaching, so I led the math lesson of the day, and it went beautifully. Every last one of them was engaged, they were excited about finding as many different methods as possible to solve the "how many legs on three cows" story problems. A few of them spontaneously worked in pairs (actually worked, not just got together to avoid) and came up with creative and accurate answers. Then they all finished up more than we'd expected in the time allowed and sat on the rug reading. It was awesome. It was only later that I connected the aforementioned absences with the awesomeness that was my lesson, but I'll take what I can get. It was so nice to leave school for the long weekend with a sense of a job well done instead of wearily feeling like I need this break just to survive the rest of the year! Despite the providence of those absent fellows, I am feeling significantly more able and skilled when it comes to directing the kids and maintaining (or quickly regaining) appropriate order. I was thoroughly charmed all day long by the sweetness and enthusiasm and just general cuteness of these children. I felt like I'd finally gotten to the level of proficiency I'd reached around February with the sixth graders. Thank goodness!

Now, on to my four day weekend. Lots of sleeping in and hanging out with my own kids!

The end is in sight.

Nine weeks to go and I'll have three fancy new letters after my name. The spring term is winding down; after one more weekend of probably sixteen hour days, my spring work sample will be done and turned in. Then we proceed to finish up with one action packed summer term. Then it's all over except for the worrying about finding a job in this economy. Substitute teaching never looked so good.

Last night we presented our portfolios to faculty (what I think of as a baby-version of a defense of dissertation for master's degree students). These huge binders exhibited work from the whole year so far, with a long and detailed list of specific accomplishments and professional traits to exhibit. The presentations went well, and I was really proud of my cohort. I would be happy for my own daughters to be in any one of their classes: they'll all make great teachers. We all will. I can't wait for my first for-real classroom.

Spring (and change) is finally in the air!

Despite the slow pace of economic recovery and the stressful tedium of the waiting game, I'm feeling optimistic. Cautious, but optimistic. My husband and I have firmly decided we're not leaving our quaint little town to search for jobs. I'd been sending out resumes all around our region (the whole state of Oregon, some of Washington, Idaho, and California) just to see what would surface for a first year teacher like me. So now, even though the only local leads are outside my authorization areas (like special ed or high school math), I feel OK about the wait and see. First of all, something great could still open up between now and September. If it doesn't, plan B (substitute teaching) is OK and would have some up sides. Yes, I'd need to scramble to fill in the economic gaps if I don't get enough work as a sub. But I'd have more time with my youngest daughter who'll be only 3 during this upcoming school year. We also have a little bit of an interest in a piece of real estate down the road that would be an amazing and thoroughly positive addition to our lives. If we get it, there would be projects going on and it would be helpful to be home a bit next year to work on them. I must not say more, lest I jinx the whole thing. More on this later if it pans out. Probably most importantly, if I'm not hired into my very own classroom, I'll be needing to get creative and be open to new possibilities, both as a part of meeting my family's financial needs and as a part of pursuing my budding career as an educator. If I don't yet have my very own most perfect and permanent classroom, maybe I can teach something after school. Maybe parents would like their children to have art classes or experiment with science inquiries once a week. I may be continuing my education with additional graduate courses to add on an endorsement. Though I'm no fan of the uncertainty, at least I'm open to the creative possibilities. Maybe I'll be subbing occasionally and pumping gas (an actual job here in Oregon, though of course not well paid). Who knows? All I know is that right now I know we're staying here in Cute Small Town and something great will eventually happen.

Signs of Spring: green beans and job worries

The first graders planted green beans, and it worked! Here they are on my desk in front of the big window. My, my, that window looks so clean, it's like my desk is outside! In the road! Actually, that's just the blacktop- the playground is just out of view. Kids pass this window going to recess from the cafeteria, and we get a constant stream of interested little faces checking out the progress of these great plants. A few seem not to have sprouted, but then good sir Eric Carle warned us that not all seeds sprout. It'll be OK.

Judging from the consistent Zero next to where it says comments on here, I'm pretty sure it's safe for me to say just about anything I want to and no one will ever be the wiser. I mean, wow, what freedom! I really am just talking to myself.

So, the truth: I'm terrified every day. I think I've burdened my family with a huge ol' load of student loan debt and will never be able to get a job in this economy. I'll be lucky to get anything resembling regular work as a substitute, and even that online Connections Academy isn't hiring anyone for elementary positions in my region. A lot of teachers say they got hired in August. I fear, though, that letting myself think "oh, August. So this is fine. This is normal. I'll totally get hired right after summer school." will be setting myself up for major disappointment and stress.

What used to look like a not-so-good-but-it'll-do Plan B is now what I'll be lucky if I can pull off. It consists of subbing (a little) next year and taking more classes so when something finally does open up I'll be a little closer to an extra endorsement (probably reading). It all just feels so sad. I just want my own shiny room with my little charges all ready for the learnin'. My calendar time. My book clubs. My dodge ball games. My counting by 2s and spelling quizzes.

For now, though, I have green beans. I'll be living in the moment now.

How about some more days in the school year?

I just read a couple of interesting posts at In Practice about the merits of an extended school year. His general premise is that if that would just mean more of the same for students, it wouldn't be at all beneficial. However, if more hours and days to work with could mean more time dedicated to sports, more arts, more science and social studies (all at the elementary level- secondary schools have a different situation), then he's all for it. I'd have to say I agree. I think having some nice contiguous weeks off, especially when the weather's nice, is still great, but a calendar that is more toward a year-round school with slightly fewer days off overall would offer some wonderful opportunities. Imagine:
... organized athletics (at the elementary level): team sports and/ or PE classes
... visual arts twice a week instead of maybe once a month
... weekly performing arts (musical theater, dance, orchestra, etc.). I was an art major, so naturally I support these. Realistically, I think increased participation in the arts is measurably, academically beneficial to kids. Plus it's fun, which increases the good associations with school that contribute to a good attitude about everything else at school.
... a school garden! This one is especially appealing to me. I live in a cold, high desert area and I love to grow food. Our growing season is very short: I can't put much in the ground before the first of June, and by the end of September it's about all over. While this means I could spend my own summer vacation tending my home garden, a lot of kids will never have that opportunity. If school were in session during the growing season it would make sense to include some biology lessons around growing food (not to mention the social studies involved). As it is, it's pretty much a snow covered world for most of the school year around here. Imagine the Inner City Elementary booth at the Farmers' Market every week during the summer! Fresh tomatoes and peppers!!!

This won't happen any time soon. All across my state, and especially here in my county, districts have had to cut days off of this school year in order to save money. Maybe five or ten years from now there will be a little more cushion in the budgets and some of this could be introduced. As a small step, just having a couple of extra weeks in the year could mean significantly more hours across the year of organized athletics, arts, and sciences.

And a big sigh of relief marks the vernal equinox

A few key points. The winter term has finished. I completed a 175 page work sample (sort of part 1 of my master's thesis- part 2 to follow in the spring term). I accomplished my research project on assisting students spiffy up their organizational skills, complete with cool graphs and charts. I finished the student teaching with the sixth graders, and only teared up that one time. I accomplished all nineteen credits, from Implications of Poverty to Human Relations to Special Methods in Science and Math to the aforementioned Action Research.

And here's the kicker: I still want to be a teacher! The winter term was full of twelve hour days, including many weekends when I had to leave the house to get work done. It was full of unwashed dishes and laundry. It was full of thirty distracted minutes a day with my kids. It was full of my husband getting really annoyed with me for being so busy and distracted and not asking for help enough! And then my car broke down! I certainly don't want to relive anything like the past three months, but I sure do still want to be a teacher.

So spring break is here. The weather is nice, sunny-snowy-sunny. I've been spending all day every day with my beautiful daughters. We made banana bread. We started digging our garden (a good faith move on my part, seeing as how we may end up needing to move away for work and I don't want to and maybe if I'm invested in the veggie garden that will somehow mean a school here will magically hire me). We walked to the library. In an hour or so we're going to visit my parents for a couple of days. In short, aaaahhhhhhh. Sure, I'm bringing the laptop along, so I can do some revisions on papers for my faculty adviser and streamline the social studies unit I'll teach in the spring. But I'll be doing it sitting in the sun by the creek on my parents' farm while the girls run around with the dogs!

Spring term will be a most welcome change, as predicted by faculty back in the summer when we first started this adventure. Student teaching for the whole school day (only a little more than I was already there, since the schedule ended up being about 2/3 of the day during the winter) and one class. One! And as much as I don't want to move away from my little town, my little hometown, my kids' only home, I am going to Portland in two weeks for a job fair (wow, we art majors never got anything like that!). I'll get to see old friends, and I'll get to give the whole applications to other towns' schools thing a shot. If we have to relocate, we're prepared for that (although packing up this house will be nuts). But I'm hoping that veggie garden does the trick.

Feeling the love...

Yesterday was an absolute high point in the term. Most of my course work is done now for winter quarter, with only a couple of finishing touches left, so I'm completely focused on this great group of kids I've been working with, and who I'll be with only another week.

These sixth graders will spend a week in May at an outdoor school on the coast, which is of course a very big deal to them! No one with disciplinary problems or any Fs on their report cards can go, though, so a lot of attention has been paid to grades lately. I've been fielding hourly questions about their grades, working through lunches with our "math club" to get those kids boosted to a passing level, and generally been completely consumed with this room full of personalities.

My cooperating teacher, who's been out for a number of weeks recovering from a car accident, had arranged to swing by yesterday so we could sign a few papers and so she could see the kids for a bit. So I wasn't surprised when she showed up, but when she began instructing the class to stand and read clearly as they took turns sharing the cards they'd made, I was confused. What was she talking about? I'm with the class for about two thirds of every day, and I knew nothing. They sent me to sit on a desk at the front of the room, and one by one all twenty six students and my teacher read thank-you cards they'd made for me! The kids shared their favorite projects that we'd done together and said kids would really want to be in my class and that I'll make a good teacher! One sweetie sitting up front passed me a box of tissues, which was a good thing because I was a teary mess from the get go. I don't know how to describe how touching it was. A mother who volunteers with us every week gave me a quilted flag she'd sewn, with each student's name stitched onto the stripes, and the substitute teacher we've had for the past six weeks gave me a book on developing reading programs. Then my teacher gave me a beautiful big basket with instructions to put any especially great work from students, or letters from parents, or nice cards from kids into the basket over the years. This will be more than a memento stash: it will be a source of inspiration and comfort I can draw upon whenever the going gets tough. It now has a beautiful pile of colorful, handmade cards to remind me of the powerful experience this year has been.

I really love this class, and though I'm looking forward to working with the first graders when we get back from spring break, I'm going to miss these guys! They've taught me far more than I ever expected.

The Big Words, They Keep On Coming

My friends ask me if I have to study this weekend, and although I say "(sigh)yes", the truth is it's all writing now, not really studying per se. I've been thinking about so many different issues related to both education in general and the specific issues of my local area in particular that my head is spinning. Now I'm just trying to write it all up for the completion of the current term.

On my mind, put down here in the hopes I can clear my head enough to finish this week's workload, in no particular order:

Poverty and its impact on kids' educations: poor kids have always had the deck stacked against them, and nowadays more and more of our children are living below the poverty line. In my county, 25% of children under the age of 18 lived below the poverty line in 2007. Since the current recession pretty much started that year and things have only gotten worse, I'd say we're approaching some pretty catastrophic levels of poverty in our schools. The vast majority of public schools in our two local districts qualify for Title I funds. The difficulties faced by these children when they arrive at school are significant. I'm still working on wrapping my head around effective interventions; I've only just begun to identify the symptoms most commonly seen in poor populations. Not that I'm unfamiliar with poverty; understanding it through common sense and being able to objectively identify symptoms and their causes are different skills of observation.

And speaking of the economy, the other main thing on my mind is the job market, specifically for teachers. With state budget shortfalls, most if not all districts in Oregon are cutting school days this year to save money, which is disruptive and stressful to teachers, even though there aren't really any alternatives that I know of. In my town, two elementary schools are closing in June. With less money in the system, I imagine that larger class sizes at the remaining schools will be seen as a sensible response. This means fewer teachers needed, which means a brand new, fresh out of school teacher has a fairly low chance around here of finding any kind of first year position, let alone anything that might be preferred or best suited to the teacher's skills and talents. I really don't want to move away. We're raising a family here, we've put down roots, we're finally starting to work on fixing up our own property (after renovating the rentals over the years to a pretty spiffy state). How can I think about painting my kitchen when I know I have to go to Portland for the big educators' job fair next month and be prepared to jump at any job offers that may come along? I would so much rather stay here and be a part of my own community's future. Maybe substitute teaching won't be too bad. Maybe I can even make it great!

winter quarter prose poetry

Just like its season, the winter quarter of the academic year stretches long and cold, a bleak foreshadowing of years of toil to come.

It is said that this will pass. Yet it will certainly come again. Same time next year. Same cold car in the mornings. Same stuffy noses. Same. Same. Same.

My frozen toes groan the melancholy of my never ending nineteen graduate credits.

Oh woe.

future focus

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately, and it's made me aware of the calendar-centric nature of academia in general, regardless of the level. Because I'm a graduate student working on a degree in elementary education, I'm completely immersed in the world of education at both ends of the spectrum. For my personal work as a student, the focus is on my own growth and my future career. For my students, little kids who are just starting out, it's as if their lives are nothing but future! Preparing them for their lives as participants in our society is the whole point, and we accomplish this bit by bit within the yearly calendar. Sometimes I feel like everything is about tomorrow. But, as a stay-at-home mother for a decade, my focus was on the present so much of the time that it mostly feels refreshing to look up and out and think about the grand scheme of things more.

In other news, though there is the expected whining from those whose standard of living might be affected if they can't adjust and live within their means, Congress has placed stricter than expected caps on executive bonuses. As someone who's hoping to see some of the stimulus package dollars make their way into my local classrooms, I can't help but be a bit pleased by this. I'm cautiously optimistic that our schools could end up benefiting from this bill. And it's pretty hard for me to work up much sympathy for someone who'll be "limited" to only half a million dollars a year income. My school district sure could hire a lot of highly qualified teachers for one of those folks' yearly pay. *sigh*